Current mood:	tired
Current music:	.devendra.bandhart.

I spent all day talking to doctors, trying to figure out how to better my situation. The doctors say that if surgery is necessary I will have to go under anesthesia and be kept in the hospital for 2-4 days. Then she informed me that it would take 4-6 weeks for me to recover to a comfortable state.. . so in essence I can't go job hunting till this is over? I mean I get the job that I would need to pay for this entire deal, attempt to go to school at the same time. Then I have to quit my job to possibly go through this process, and attempt to finish school, then find another job. Yea right.

I feel really fucked at the moment. Like I really don't have an option but to wait for some over worked doctor to call me letting know when then have time to examine me. I can't eat anything with out feeling nauseated afterward. I have to pee all of the time, I'm constantly thirsty and loosing more weight.

I've already past out twice, first time luckily at a friends house. I was standing outside with a couple of friends smoking a cigarette when my legs when numb, I lost all feeling in my body and watched my friends tune out of vision like a tv. I came to pretty much right away but I couldn't feel my limbs for nearly an hour. The second time I had just gotten home from eating dinner, and I couldn't hold the food down I headed straight for the toilet, after I vomited and then past out momentarily again. Bryan wasn't home.

The pain is hard to ignore. I'm putting up more of a face now then when was going through puberty.
I feel just like a child.

You fit in with: Spiritualism Your ideals are mostly spiritual, but in an individualistic way. While spirituality is very important in your life, organized religion itself may not be for you. It is best for you to seek these things on your own terms. 60% spiritual. 80% reason-oriented.

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